In · Search · of · Sanity

--- Original message ---
Hello dear,

I am Mr. GODWIN ADAM, a merchant in Dubai, Arab Emirate.
I have been diagnosed with Cancer which was discovered very late, due to my laxity in careing for my health. It has defiled all forms of medicine, Right now I have only about a few months to live, according to my Medical Doctor. I have not particularly lived my life so well, as I never really cared for myself but the oil business.

Though I am very rich, I was never generous, I only focused on my business as that was the only thing I cared for. But now I regret all this as I now know that there is more to life than just wanting to have or make all the money in the world. I believe when God gives me a second chance and heal me I would live my life a different way from how I have lived it.
I have sowed a seed for my healing I have willed and given most of my properties and assets to my immediate and extended family members and as well as a few close friends.

I want God to be merciful to me and accept my soul and so, I have decided to give arms to charity organizations and give succour and comfort to the less priviledged of the Tsunami Victims, as I want this to be one of the last good deeds I
do on earth.
So far, I have distributed money to some charity organizations in India and Malaysia. Now that my health has deteriorated so badly,I cannot do this my self anymore. I once asked members of my family to close one of my accounts in Saudi Bank and
distribute the money which I have there to charity organization and to the less priviledged in Bulgaria and Sudan Africa They cashed the money but kept it only to themselves. Hence, I do not trust them anymore, as they seem not to be contended with what I have left for them already.

The last of my money which no one knows of is the huge
cash deposit of twenty two million dollars $ 22 million that I have in the Vault of a Financial company in europe for safe keeping.

I want you to collect this deposit on my behalf and disburse it to the Tsunami EarthQuake victims in Asia and hurrican victms in America for the less priviledged.
I will set aside 20% for you for your time and efforts. I need your urgent reply so that I will not have to go on sourcing for a
credible person to handle this project. If you are okey with the
condition, do not hesitate to send me mail (godwin_adam320@yahoo.com) so that i can furnish you up with all the informations needed.

I wish to hear from you soon.
God bless you.

Mr. GODWIN ADAM

--- end original message ---

--- My reply ---

Dear Mr. Adam,

I read your story with much interest. However, there are a few pressing questions I would like to ask you.

If your family has stolen money from you, why have you not begun legal proceedings against them in order to recover that money?
Secondly, why would you not appoint a financial firm or other reputable fiduciary of some sort to carry out this mission; more precisely, why have you chosen my glorious self (presumably you don't know me), when you could have gone to an institution that specialises in these matters.
Finally, I would like to ask you what recovering this money would involve, as I am keen to assist the victims of the tsunami in any way shape or possible. I take it that you too are interested in charitable work, then?

Regards,

Steven U. Kerr
</lj>
Of course, you can keep up to date with this antispam crusade on the Stop Our Spam boards. *nods*
*disappears into the shadows* (I need a catchpharse, too)

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So then we have Timmy. Timmy is a New Zealander, while I am an Australian.
Tim began smiting be randomly:
<`Timothy> *smites you*
<`Timothy> *smites you again*
Besides this, Tim said a lot of stupid stuff. That's Tim for you, although I have nothing against him.
With Kamio (John) helping him on, this eventually ended in an Australia v NZ bout.

Here, for your voyeuristic pleasure, I present highlights from each round.

Round 1
<`Timothy> anyone who lives in Australia is a convict
<`Timothy> because its illegal!
And anyone who lives in NZ is a wanker? --> okay, I'm not proud of that one, but it was effective
* Kamio high fives Ben for that wanker bit
<`Timothy> go and get some fush and chups :D --> Timmy doesn't realise that this is how they speak in NZ, not Aus

Round 2
* BenQ goes for the folding chair
* BenQ moves Australia, and nudges NZ into Antarctica -> not really, as this would be physically difficult to do
<`Timothy> I HATE VEGEMITE -> So do I. So what, Tim?
<`Timothy> i win -> Skips a few steps in the logic, does our Tim

Round 3
* `Timothy hits Ben for 6 -> Note: Tim loves cricket. A lot.
<`Timothy> Aragorn will pwn you
The saddest thing is that you think you're all hobbits
<`Timothy> all you convicts work in the mines
<`Timothy> so you are stunted
better than being little hobbit people in the middle of nowhere
<`Timothy> the world is round -> I may be unfairly representing Tim, but he did say this stuff. *Nods*
Look, New Zealanders have accepted that gravity exists!
Soon, they will start to use fire as a source of power

Round 4
Your measure of NZs economy is based on success in cricket
<`Timothy> WE DONT DRIVE OUR NATIVES OFF CLIFFS FOR SPORT -> Yes, Australians have done some horrible stuff that they should at the very least apologise for. Don't know why he brought this up, though...
<`Timothy> we have the lowest unemployment rate is the developed world
You're part of the "developed world" all of a sudden?
When did you get electricity?

Round 5
Tim. It's called a rhetorical question.
When you discover the English language in NZ, maybe you'll learn about them.
<`Timothy> ethnic cleanser! -> I never knew I was an ethnic cleanser. Then again, Timmy also called me a convict.
Woah, this fight is getting firey
You say "sex" instead of "six"
How do you procreate?
<`Timothy> australians even sound like convicts with the rough-as-guts accent :D
<`Timothy> unlike Australians who always seem to have bruised belly buttons

Round 6
And LOOKOUT! They JUST flashed the NZers with their bruised belly buttons!
<`Timothy> its the "oh" as in the "oh what an idiot" but without the "what an idiot" -> sometimes Tim is his own worst opponent
Tim appears to have brought out a cricket bat out to whack at Ben!!
* `Timothy hits Ben for 6 -> again. Signs of creativity.
You couldn't hit a low full toss for a single
Cricket language being thrown about! -> Sorry about that. Blame Tim.
Low blow by Ben gets Tim under the belt@!
* `Timothy bowls a top-spinner which watches smack Ben in the face
BEN MIGHT HAVE THE GAME ENDER :O
* BenQ whips out his graphite-reinforced Ponting bat and whacks Tim in the gob
<`Timothy> YOU CANT DO THAT -> Note: he can hit me, but I can't hit him. Nice double standards.
<`Timothy> YOU UNDERARMER
And they exchange words of good sportsmanship
While I remember, your national animal is a kiwi...
Scary...
* BenQ fries up some Kiwi burgers
<`Timothy> your national animal is like a kangoroo
<`Timothy> dirty dirty animals
It would whoop a Kiwi

I will admit that I'm not proud of myself, not at all.
Still, it was a relief to let out some stress.

What a day.

Current Mood:	exhausted
Current Music:	R-E-S-P-E-C-T